Mental illness (more appropriately, health) is such a broad term that incorporates so many aspects of a person’s life and experiences. For that reason, it can often seem a very difficult and daunting task when faced with having to confront other people’s mental health struggles, let alone your own. That’s because it is. Not only have you got the variation in how a mental illness affects a person, but you’ve also got to factor in that each person likes to be treated differently.
So, with that in mind, I thought I’d give a few ideas to make that conversation a little less awkward (it shouldn’t be, by the way, but there’s always the fear of the unknown).
Don’t try to Understand; Understand how to be Open Minded
If mental health is different for everyone, you can’t hope to understand how a person is feeling. Even if two people had the exact same symptoms, at the exact same time, they would manifest differently.
One way you can alleviate this ambiguity is to be open minded. Being open minded will automatically make you a better listener.
Only then can you really appreciate that only the individual knows how they feel. If a person is opening up to you, they probably need your help in dealing with what they are struggling with. Go with the flow.
Think of it like this; if a child is angry about something, they are quickly branded as being ‘naughty’. But with that comes the slight disregard that the child might actually have a problem. They just might not know how to express it.
That being said, nobody can make everyone happy, or do everything perfectly, all the time. It’s all about trial and error, working out what works best for the individual. Communication is key.
Be Patient
This idea of trial and error requires patience. A person struggling with mental health is likely to be very fragile. They need you. They need you to make them feel safe and respected before they can start to open up to you.
This will take time.
Although they are opening up to you, that doesn’t always mean they have necessarily come to terms with what they are feeling, or going through. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to listen.
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Don’t be Dismissive Before you’ve even Started
Leading on from the previous point, as hard it may be to see someone you care about struggling, you need to try and not let your own issues impede on the other person’s ability to express themselves.
Blocking someone off, will only lead them to strengthening their walls built in order protect themselves from further emotional damage.
Discuss Wellbeing
Although you want a person to be honest with you, it’s best not to make it all doom and gloom. That can put pressure on the person, and result in them having negative associations to being honest. Which then leads to rumination, overall making the discussion counter – productive.
You could suggest a few, simple, open ended ideas to help the person feel better. These ideas might seem overused. That’s because they are. But that’s also because they are so useful.
Exercise – this doesn’t have to be climbing mount Everest, or doing a marathon. Just get a change of scene.
Keeping things in perspective – remind them that their mind could be making the situation seem worse than it is – but try not to make it sound as though how they are feeling is invalid.
Remind them it’s not their fault. That they are doing the best.
Remind them that doing their best means doing their best, despite all the factors that seem
Openly discussing how you and another person feel can help you feel more confident in yourself. Knowing who you can rely on strengthens any unsaid bonds.
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Let them Know you’re here for Them
As obvious as it might first seem to those of us that even half care (or more, kindness knows no bounds), if you have a mental health issue, it can be easy to lose track of who you are.
To make it easier to understand, let’s take anxiety as an example.
As you get more and more anxious about a situation, the less and less likely you are to see the reality of the situation. Something I like to call tunnel vision. That’s when they’ll need your help keeping them grounded.
– D
*Note: some aspects of this post were referenced from http://www.healthline.com, https://www.mindbodygreen.com/. But the majority was based on my own experiences.
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