Getting Back Into Writing: Keeping the Bar Hilariously Low

Only the other week, I wrote a blog post on finishing university and how it feels. Safe to say, I’m starting to acclimatise to the non-student life. Then comes the reality that I'm going to have to work for the next fifty years of my life. That's not to say that I did not know that was coming, or that I was the first person to ever find that frustrating. It's not that I don't like working, it’s more that I have been working at 120% capacity for the last three years, and now that I ‘just’ have the full time job, there is a certain amount of back and forth in knowing and understanding that it is okay to be doing ‘nothing’, and taking the time to recover.

But then my version of ‘doing nothing’ is doing something different — like writing this blog post. It's more so using energy differently. It is something that I like doing, and a different way of thinking. It's a way of processing thoughts that have been stewing in my mind for days, or weeks, on end. So in the sense that it is doing something, there is that relief in using my energy in a different way; unusually not just surviving.

Having said that, writing can feel like an extra energy drain, which makes me feel guilty, because writing is something that I like doing, and yet is not something that I like doing all of the time. I get the feeling that is because my day job can be quite mentally taxing, and then to be spending my remaining free time putting words in a certain order is a step too far.

With that very badly explained tangent in mind, I've decided that my way back into writing is to definitely set the bar hilariously low. That way, I'm still getting the writing in, but there feels less pressure to be doing, and more of a focus on writing for enjoyment. As a result, writing becomes more enjoyable because there is less pressure; and if writing is more enjoyable, then I'm more productive.

If I'm being even more honest, the fact that I'm able to write a short blog post offers the opportunity for a piece of writing to be completed quickly, and therefore, I'm getting quicker gratification for the writing that I'm doing and being able to put it out there. At the same time, I'm conscious that — if I'm doing shorter and quicker pieces of writing — then my writing quality may suffer (although I do try and bypass this by doing several passes of editing).

On the other hand, every piece of writing does not need to be the next classic. It just needs to be able to express and convey ideas — and within that, perhaps it can allow readers to think about something differently.

It just so happens that, in this case, it's about getting back into writing as a writer, and feeling as though life events — particularly finishing my degree — have meant that my writing and creative resources feel depleted. Writing these shorter posts allows the writing engine to be kick started, I suppose you could say.

It's funny to consider this, because I knew that finishing my degree would come as a shock to me. I knew I would need to adjust to the fact that I no longer have to study and work at the intensity that I was, but I wasn't expecting it to have such lingering consequences. For example, I'm not used to having so much free time — and at the same time — work being the thing that I've been doing the most. Previously, I was able to spread my time fairly evenly across the day job and working for my degree.

As an extension of that, I didn't think that the depletion of energy as a result of finishing my degree would have quite so many repercussions particularly because I use voice-to-text dictation a lot of the time when I am writing. So, it makes it less invasive, and it requires less energy. So I thought the accumulative exhaustion would be less. To give you an idea — I am writing this blog post as I am watching a film, so I'm able to relax and work at the same time. Having said that, if I am watching something and then writing at the same time, am I really resting or recuperating? Probably not in the same way that I would expect. At the same time, I do find it easier — especially mentally — to have more than one input at the same time. It's as though the TV or writing become a distraction for the other. It comes back to what I was saying earlier in terms of using energy differently, and then being able to increase my output.

Part of keeping expectations low is to acknowledge the fact that I am writing this blog post. In doing so, it is laying the ranks for developing my writing routine further and establishing the routine that I once had. Part of me feels guilty that I haven't remained consistent with my writing and my publishing over the last few years. I feel that this is partly to blame for the resistance that I am feeling in terms of my writing routine. I get this nagging feeling that I could be so much further ahead if I had been more consistent. But then again, I do realise that putting pressure on myself is not realistic. Studying for a degree and working at the same time is already a lot to juggle. Then meaning that something had to give, and it happened to be writing. The goal and solution for this is to focus on consistency and routine, rather than output, so we will see how it goes. Step one is writing this blog post.