Trigger warning: contains sensitive content regarding body image, weight and eating.
I thought I’d do post on it this week, as it is a subject as close to my heart as anyone else’s. Hopefully by the end of reading this post, you’ll be able to keep things in perspective. Or at the very least gain little bit more insight, so that you can feel more secure in yourself (if you aren’t already).
What is Body Image?
Although I think body image is something we all understand to some degree, for the sake of this post, I’ll give you a paraphrased version of the definition.
It is a conscious, self reflected image we have of ourselves, based on what we perceive as being society’s expectations (Psychology Today, 2020). This is also known as the Looking Glass Self, in that we use other people’s preconcieved judgements to gauge whether we are a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ person. Or more accurately, whether we are ‘good looking’ or ‘ugly’.
For some people it might not be as black and white as that. They might dislike one part of their body and love the rest, and vice versa. It all depends on the individual in terms of how their body image effects them.
I have come to realise these concepts of the good, the bad, and the ugly are within themselves spectrums. How bad is bad? How good is good?
If we go with the idea of body image being a spectrum, it brings you back to that age – old question that seems to go out one of society’s ears, and out the other. Why are we comparing ourselves, when everyone is different, in whatever big or minute way?
How can we hope to compete? Why should it be a competition? Why should ‘competition’ be the word that my mind is immediately drawn to? The only reason I can think of brings us back to our good ol’ pal social expectations.
Photo by Sam Lion on Pexels.com
A few things I make sure to ask Myself
As we all know, try as we might there are always going to be moments, minutes, days, where everything seems to be getting on top of us. These are some of the questions I like to ask myself – hopefully they can help you too!
Are People actually looking at you that Much?
Of course, I don’t know for definite, but the likelihood is they aren’t. They are most likely too busy – too preoccupied – with worrying about what’s going on in their own world to worry about the gravy stain from yesterday’s roast dinner you’d forgotten about.
If they Are…
Well, that’s their problem. I find if you start thinking about it too much, you start to change how you think and feel, just to please sometimes completely irrelevant people. And who is to say that people are going to like the new persona you’ve created?
If they are being that judgemental about the person you are, I tend to remind myself that it’s as a result of their past experiences that they view a person – or type of person – a certain way. It’s not always you, personally. Though it’s very hard, in the moment, to know the difference.
Is the Shape, Size, of my Body really that Important?
Within reason, as long as you’re healthy, your weight doesn’t matter in my eyes. Being skinny doesn’t always mean you’re healthy. In the same way that if you’re what society classes as ‘overweight’, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re unhealthy. It depends on the individual’s circumstances. For example, being your ideal weight or body shape, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re happy on the inside. Mental health is just as important as your physical health. As I’ve said before, they go hand in hand.
Another point is, you can have 10 people stand side by side, be different shapes and sizes, but still weigh the exact same. There are a lot more factors that come into defining ‘healthy’ other than your weight and what you eat.
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. World Health Organization (WHO), 2020
Everyone’s ‘within reason’ is different. What works for one person, might not work for the next. For example, some people find calorie counting a beneficial way of managing their diet, I would feel restricted – it would stifle me as I wouldn’t have the freedom to choose what I eat. But it doesn’t make calorie counting bad, it just doesn’t work for me.
Especially with COVID-19, food becomes a bigger part of the day (for me anyway!) so making myself feel bad about that would create a negative spiral of emotions leading me to feel bad about everything else. This is not beneficial.
– D
*Note: some aspects of this post were referenced and inspired by https://www.psychologytoday.com/, https://lesley.edu/
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