I have been fairly quiet about this on the whole — but looking closely, you will have noticed the signs. Namely, my posts on social media hours after winning the Ron Graves Young Poet of the Year award. As well as the nomination for South Kesteven's Inspirational Young Person of the Year.
The award itself is great — something tangible to show for all my hard work (aside from my publications themselves) — but it’s the being noticed that's really important to me. Being noticed and nominated is the hard work; I have such an effect on people that they felt compelled to nominate me…that's both a brilliant and bizarre feeling to sit with.
To then win the award is the icing on the cake.
I'll be honest, being able to call myself an award-winning writer is the greatest feeling of all. Even after having a few weeks to process it, the thought still makes me chuckle in disbelief. It is definitely an ‘I did that!’ moment.
As much as I am a hardworking individual (said with the least amount of arrogance possible, but with the most sincerity), the fact that people (including you) are willing to support my being an author is hard to put into words.
So, thank you to anyone who has read my blog posts, books, and articles. Just because I write them, it does not mean that a single soul has to read them.
It might sound virtuous, pompous even, to say this, but I will not stop just because the awards are coming in. I don't write for the awards and recognition, I write because I need to. I write because I have words to get out of my head, and insight and knowledge to share (apparently).
All this has come from my being stuck in a rut and needing to get out of it, and writing is my main way of turning my experiences into something constructive. Something I can carry with myself always, whatever happens (for the most part), I can still write.
When I get recognised in whatever way, I feel myself cringing at the thought that I enjoy the praise. I often don't know what to do with it because, as I've said before, I write because I need to. That said, the odd praise doesn't go amiss — and if enough people tell me I am awesome, I might start to believe it.
Anyway, that's enough gushing.
As you can see, there are lots of complex thoughts firing around, and some I may never have a definitive answer to. Praise and recognition are difficult.
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