Previously, I would have apologised for my long break since writing a blog post, or frankly, writing properly at all. I have, of course, written a few words here and there — but it literally was just a few words. Only now, as I'm writing this, am I beginning to realise how much creative energy I have for writing, and the fact that I want to put it into practice again. I have been seriously busy — and that is part of why I haven't been writing — however, that is not an excuse, because writing is quite a large part of who I am, and it is something I enjoy. Increasingly, I am becoming aware that no matter how busy life gets, we must retain some rhythm and time for the things that we do enjoy — and not just the things that we feel that we have to do (or get to do).
So when I want to get back into writing, what do I do first is face the overwhelming fear of catching up on lost time — then realise that it is not time lost. It is just an opportunity to change directions and reflect on what I want to do. From there, it's anyone's guess, but here I am about to talk you through some things that I do top get myself back on track.
Write shorter pieces, and getting over fear of failure as a writer
The first thing is, focus on writing shorter pieces. A bit like I am now, with writing this blog. A blog is much shorter than a book, and it is less time consuming than publishing a book. And yet, I still get to express my creativity. Just because I am not writing 2000 words or more a day, that does not mean that I'm not a writer, or that I have failed as a writer. If you're anything like me, you often find yourself clinging to the stereotypical image of a writer happily clacking on their typewriter (or now keyboard) all day long without pause for thought; that the words just jump off the page, or from our mind through our fingers and onto the screen, but that is not how it works. I have written bits of poetry here and there, but again, it's a few lines of poetry. I wouldn't even consider them full poems because they are not complete, they are not developed, they do not make me feel as much as I would like.
You can see there is an on-going theme of getting over the fear of failure as a writer, and just picking myself up from the ground and starting small, whilst thinking about bigger projects in the background. With that, considering how my life has changed — and how that means how I manage my time has changed, and how that is going to change how I write.
Plan; the writing and the practice
Those of you who have read a few of my longer, more recent posts, know that I'm a big fan of dictation. Using this means that I can get my thoughts onto the page before I forget them, and my voice is a lot quicker than the speed at which my fingers can scramble across the keyboard. So, whilst a first draft might look a complete mess, everything necessary is on the page, and I can come back to the piece another time to edit it. In a way, I consider this two stages of editing — because I have had time to reflect on what I initially thought I wanted to discuss, and then when it comes to editing I've got a fresh perspective. So, not only am I editing the words to make it more precise and edit the tone — but I'm also developing my ideas and my style through the editing. Having that time to reflect between drafting and editing really helps nail down what you want to change or improve.
Consider why you felt you needed to stop in the first place
If I'm completely honest, I did not mean to stop. It just became that life was so chaotic, and I had many plates spinning all at once, and I had no idea what to do with all of them. So it became that writing on my blog was the thing that had to give. But what’s important is, something had to give because I was exhausted and dedicating my time to lots of different things. Don't get me wrong, I love dedicating my time to lots of different things, because so much interests me. I need those different aspects of stimulation. However, I can over do it with how much I’m dedicating my time and energy to — and I understand that.
I also struggle to implement boundaries with myself, but I do think that this is part of life that we have to constantly figure out. In fact, I doubt we figure it out that all, because it is a constant juggle that we have to balance according to what life throws at us. And then, with this reflection, we can then understand that the break was not a waste of time, and there is no lost time to catch up on, because it is all part of the process in the long run. I know that now, but I do struggle to remind myself of this. As a good friend reminds me, everything is grist to the mill in regards to life, and in my writing in particular. From this, I take the idea of the thought of writing being exhausting, and yet still missing it. At the same time, it is only when that exhaustion has cleared that I have been able to come back to it. It is through exhaustion, yet still missing writing, that I have had plenty to think about and be certain in my perspective on things.
Part of me is already worried that I have a lot of unfinished projects to resurrect and continue with but as I said before, going back to planning the practice, I'm taking this as an opportunity — in that I will be able to look at every single one of these projects with fresh eyes. It may change these projects completely, or it may not, but one thing is for certain: I will benefit from the rest, as I have done so already.
Be patient with yourself, because life will throw things at us. As I've already said, and we need to adapt to cope with them and manage them — and then when they are managed, we can reach a new equilibrium, a new way of life. All very much easier said than done.
Bringing things to a close...
I realise I have gone really philosophical on you, but I hope it illustrates the depth of reflection, and that these several months — although not intentional — have been extremely beneficial rest. It is not something to be ashamed of, it is necessary in all aspects of life and when we are ready to come back to what fulfils us we will be back with a different energy and eagerness to succeed.
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