All writers understand what a milestone this is!
A few weeks ago, I started writing my first novel (a step-up from poetry anthologies and short stories, let me tell you!), and I have been making great progress.
Making progress, and maintaining a pace with my writing is vital, because it is a way of keeping up with the thread of the story within my mind, and the feeling of being productive further allows my imagination to flourish.
Take this week, for example: I have been taking more time to write and publish blog posts, and since then, my mind has been overflowing with ideas of what to write about in future blogs.
So much opportunity, so much passion.
20,000 words
20,000 words into a woman's descent into madness after a series of traumatic events (that's all you're getting for now...).
That's 20,000 words, one word — one letter — after the other.
This is a massive achievement in anyone's eyes.
To help put this into perspective, 20,000 words is roughly the length of two dissertations. It is particularly notable in the writing community on social media, because 10,000, 20,000, and 30,000 words — and so on — are seen as key milestones in regards to writing a book. The length of a book depends on the genre, but generally books are between 50,000 and 90,000 words (often much longer if you are writing something like an epic fantasy.
The way I break this down is that an 80,000 word draft is 1,000 words written eighty times. Easy, right? Well, that's romanticising it a little bit, but the point still stands — and it helps.
So, as you can see, I'm a good way through, but I have got a long way to go. And, with that in mind, I'm panicking. Those of you that have been reading my blog for at least a few weeks will understand that I am an anxious person; I do the best that I can for others, and myself when I remember, and I still worry something is not good enough — a feeling I'm sure many of you can relate to.
Why am I worrying?
Well, it is the furthest I have got into a novel Work in Progress (WIP) without giving up. A few times before I have attempted to write a novel, and then given up by the 5,000 words mark, if not before. And then the spark fades in an instant.
So, to get to the 20,000 word mark is amazing. After writing such a huge amount of work, there's always the worry that, when I get to the end of the first draft (tens-of-thousands of words down the line), that my work will just end up being rubbish, and ultimately meaning that I'll need to start over again.
The good news is that, as I type this, somewhere within me is appalled that I speak to myself with such loathing. I can treat other people with respect, but not myself? And yet, I have a glass half-full outlook on life.
Over the last year or so, I have trained my mind to put aside the inner critic that is so desperate to speak. In fact — I often put it to good use, and write about it as I'm doing now. See what I did there?
Regardless of what my brain is telling me, I keep writing, because it is something I have got to do; it is something that fuels me. It is something that revives me.
I am worried that — now that I have stopped at the 20,000 mark — that I will struggle to get back on track. Usually, as I said, if I were to neglect a WIP for more than a few days, the spark would recede, and there would be nothing left for me to seemingly work with — unless I were to poke and prod the coals of the idea. This time, however, this hasn't happened, and the spark that I get from the idea is still here. My mind is constantly mulling over the details in the background. So this alone is telling me that the story needs to be written; it has true fundamental and spiritual value, obviously.
To go with my mentality towards writing 80,000 words: if I have written 20,000 words, then I can do that at least three times more, which would then bring me to 60,000 words — a full length novel. My feeling is that this book will be more like 80,000 or 90,000 words.
Where do I go from here?
In theory, it is fairly simple: I have planned out the book in its entirety, so I know where I am going, it is a case of writing it. Sitting down to reread what I have written is a reminder of how much work there still is to do.
This is the exact point that terrifies me.
So from here, I need to look at the scenes that I have written, the scenes that are yet to be written; analyse where I am at, and where I need to go. If I can work out the scenes that I have planned but haven't written, I can start those. That will make me feel like I'm making progress — and then I can look back at what I have written, and how it will need reworking. I won't need to refresh myself on my overall outline — just make sure that the outcome of the novel is at the centre of the progression in terms of my writing. A tangent is not great at this point.
Am I blogging as a form of procrastination?
Good question! Yes, and no. It is much more easy and quicker to write a blog post, than it is to write a book. I cannot publish a book as regularly as I can a blog post. I’m stuck on the first draft of my novel, but I don't want it to prohibit my opportunity and ability to write every day; blogging offers the opportunity to write about lots of different topics. Ultimately. This gives me a sense of achievement, because it's much quicker to write a post and — to be honest — I have been meaning to get back into the swing of blogging properly, because it allows me to express myself in a way that I can't necessarily do with any other platform, or form of writing.
What I mean by this is that blogging has the longevity of writing a novel or a book, but also has the informality of social media (at least, there is that scope, if I wish). There is just so much good, and opportunity, in maintaining a blog. Essentially I can do whatever I want with it. And, as a creative, that is the freedom that I crave.
Procrastination is also a strong word, because it would imply that nothing is being done — and, admittedly, I'm not making progress on my debut novel at the moment — but writing this blog post is a step in the right direction. Everything that I write is grist to the mill, and everything that I write works towards improving my writing and overall writing style.
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